Pete has an easy to read writing style.  He leaves you waiting on the edge of your seat to find out what happens next in a particular story while telling you how a person in the Bible dealt with a similar or applicable situation.  It wasn’t a fluffy book.  It was an incredible read that stretched my faith as I read.  In the end, there are no neat “bows” to make everything nice and neat.  There is simply a call to remember that God is with us and God is faithful.  I definitely recommend reading this book!

The book became very personal for me as I was reading.  I started reading it for content and knowledge, but I found myself really personalizing the information.  I know a lot about myself regarding my strengths, my spiritual gifts, etc.  The problem for me has been that I’m a perfectionist.  And being a learner / achiever who is a perfectionist, I get caught up in what I’m “supposed” to do regarding spiritual formation and disciplines.  I do what I think people expect of me rather that doing what I love most and what really connects me to God.  “Perfect” example: I’m not able to spend extended amounts of time in prayer.  My mind wanders.  I think of all the things that I need to get done.  This doesn’t mean that God doesn’t want me to spend time in prayer.  Of course he does!  But prayer for me looks different from prayer for someone else.  Prayer for me involves reading, learning, observation, and note taking / journaling.

I feel like reading this book gave me permission to be “me” and the encouragement to continue to discover who that “me” really is.

Conclusion: It is an easy, fast read.  I’ll be processing on this one for a while.  Excellent. Highly recommended read.

Like many churches and non-profits around the United States, our church has recently been affected by our nation’s economic downturn.  If Christ-followers understood and practiced tithing, churches wouldn’t be short on funds and we’d be able solve many of the world’s poverty related issues.  I believe and practice tithing.  As a church staff, we’re trying to help our church members take that step of faith.  When I saw this book on Thomas Nelson’s BookSneeze site, I thought it might be a great resource for teaching our members more about stewardship.  Although I was not thrilled with all of the interviews and stories, I liked the concept.  I would liked to have seen more discussion relating directly to the scriptural basis for tithing leading into or as a follow up to the testimonies.  Unfortunately, this book is not the resource that I’d hoped it would be.  It isn’t a bad book.  It is not what I was looking for or needed.

*** This book was review for Thomas Nelson’s BookSneeze.  This book was supplied to me for free through this program in exchange for a review of the book.  My review was not influenced by Thomas Nelson or the fact that the book was provided for free. ***

In the Gospel According to Lost, Chris Seay takes us on a journey through the first five seasons of “Lost” focusing mostly on the main characters but also touching upon some of the main themes and mysteries of the island.  Seay’s purpose is not to give theories and explanations of the island.  He instead highlights the historical, scientific, theological, and biblical references woven into the story.

I’ve been a fan of “Lost” since the airing of the very first episode.  My husband and I were both hooked from the beginning.  Our church even did a short series a few years ago using “Lost” as the theme.  As a die-hard “Lostie”, I found myself wanting more and feeling like Seay never really brought this book home.  I didn’t care for his writing style and felt like he rushed through his treatment of each character.  Maybe Seay should have waited until the conclusion of the series to release this book.

– This book was reviewed for the Thomas Nelson Book Review Bloggers Program –

“I couldn’t help but wonder if we have accepted a form of Christianity that is more educated but less powerful, more civilized but less compassionate, more acceptable but less authentic than that which our spiritual ancestors practiced. …  What is the primal essence of Christianity?”
Mark Batterson in Primal

I received a free pre-release copy of Mark Batterson’s new book Primal (available 12/22) from Waterbrook Multnomah.  (Thank you to Liz Johnson and team!)  In exchange for the book, I was asked to write a review of it and if I liked the book to ask if you’d consider making Primal the first book that you read in 2010.  While I didn’t care much for Mark’s In A Pit with a Lion on a Snowy Day, his next book Wild Goose Chase was an excellent and thought provoking book on the Holy Spirit.  I read Mark’s blog and follow him on Twitter so I’ve been hearing about Primal for a while now and was excited to read it.  It kept me great company on my way to my friend’s wedding and back (including a short mechanical delay on my flight home).  I read the last page as the plane was touching down in Charlotte.

Primal refers to the thing of first importance.  So what is the most important thing in Christianity?  Mark strips Christianity down to this: “We’ve got to be great at the Great Commandment.”  In this, God calls us to love Him in 4 ways: heart, soul, mind, and strength.  Mark describes these 4 ways like this:

• Heart = Compassion
• Soul = Wonder
• Mind = Curiosity
• Strength = Energy

Mark asserts that we have a spiritual love language in the same way that we have a preferred love language with our spouse, family, and friends.  We tend to gravitate to one of these four dimensions of love when acting out our love of God.  We should all love in each of the four ways, but one is likely to rise to the top as our primary spiritual love language.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes and thoughts:

• “But minds often remain closed to truth until hearts have been opened by compassion.”
• “I want to work with people who don’t just care about the work but who care about the people they work with.”
• “Don’t let what you cannot do keep you from doing what you can do.”
• …”most of us become so tangled up in our own self-consciousness that we have a hard time experiencing the joy of just being ourselves.”
• Scripture is kaleidoscopic – it speaks to you in a difference way each time you read it.
• “The goal of knowing the Bible is knowing God.”
• There’s no distinction in Jewish thought between knowing and doing.
• We’re losing a love for learning; our educational system is more about cramming info in rather that drawing conclusions out.  This is force feeding rather than unleashing curiosity.
• “Holy curiosity isn’t satisfied by easy answers.”
• “God is always speaking.  The real question is whether we are listening.”
• Strength = servanthood, sacrifices, hard work.
• Our love for God is our reflection of His love for us.
• The reformation for our generation is “Amo Dei” (Love God); a return to the Great Commandment.

I believe that my spiritual love language is mind or curiosity.  Fits with my top strength of learner.

This is, in my opinion, Mark’s best written book so far.  I’m enjoying him as an author more and more with each book.  Primal is also challenging.  It is a reminder that we serve a multi-faceted God who wants us to love him in many ways.  At the same time, that God has created me with a certain bent and shape that I need to cultivate and nurture.

What is your spiritual love language?  How can you be great at the Great Commandment?  Find out!  Get this book and make it the first book that you read in 2010!

“I haven’t cared for much of what I’ve heard or seen – either on radio or television. Don’t get me wrong, I applaud the efforts of all the well intentioned people who believe in using the media to share a message of faith and hope with the culture. The problem is most of them just haven’t done it very well. …   I’ve discovered for the most part, these are good people with noble intentions, but held back by outdated and out of touch strategies that need to be ushered into the digital age.”

– Phil Cooke referring to Christian ministries usage of media in The Last TV Evangelist

I had the opportunity to watch the interview below live from ConversantLife.com with Brad Abare and Phil Cooke:

Church Marketing Gurus: Brad Abare & Phil Cooke from ConversantLife; on Vimeo.

Phil generously posted his most recent book, The Last TV Evangelist, online in a PDF format for free for 24 hours after the interview.  I’d read his previous book, Branding Faith, and found it very insightful and helpful with what I do at Southbrook.  I had this new book on my “want to read” list and this free copy came at the perfect time…  I settled in over the Thanksgiving holiday with several days off to read and plowed right through this book.

I’m a techie wanna-be.  I like trying out new software and hardware.  I like being an early adopter of new technology.  I like figuring out how we can “redeem” methods and ideas in our culture and use them to spread the Gospel.  It was almost like Phil was preaching to the choir.  I didn’t need to be convinced.  So, what made this book so great for me?

• Presentation of history of using media, specifically radio and TV, for the purpose of reaching our culture.
• Explanation of what “millenials” are looking for and how to reach this next generation.
• Well-formed reasoning for using new media in the context of the church and non-profits.

Here are some of my favorite and most thought-provoking quotes:

• If you want to reach a new generation, putting all your eggs in the traditional media basket is a mistake.
• The new media world is about connection, community, and conversation. It’s about being networked.
• If we don’t understand how to share our faith in the digital world, the church will continue its slide into irrelevance in the eyes of the culture.
  Back in those days, when radio and television – and even movies – were embraced by Christians, it was usually the preachers like Oral Roberts and Billy Graham that jumped into the deep end first. They didn’t really debate about the technology so much from a theological perspective, they just saw it as another opportunity for sharing the gospel. It was their vision for reaching mass audiences for evangelism that drove them to embrace radio and television with little hesitation.
• Take the time to teach your kids about life. Watch TV with them, see movies together, and help them discover how to navigate their place as a Christian in the culture.
• Remember the concept of common grace and start looking for God in the most unlikely places.
• You should reward innovation, not just success. …  If you manage your people by fear of failure, then failure is exactly what you’ll achieve.
  Every generation communicates in a dif erent way. It is no longer how we want to communicate with donors but rather how they want to communicate with us. And if we’re not ready, they’ll take their money elsewhere.
• Are we happy to sit back and watch other Christians damage our witness to the culture by producing lousy movies, or should we lovingly call them to a higher standard?
• How you present your message, and the medium you present it through has a significant impact on how that message is received.
• Yes, people turn away from the gospel. The rich young ruler walked away from Jesus. But just as with the rich young ruler, it would be better if the disconnect was because he couldn’t handle the message. Too often in religious media, the disconnect comes from well meaning but out of touch people whose inability to communicate creates an obstacle that’s impossible for the audience to overcome. They never even get to the message.  …  It’s not about compromising our message, it’s about respecting the audience enough to speak in a language and style they understand.
• No matter what happens, the content of the gospel should be the filter, not our poor or inept presentation of that content.
• In a media-driven culture, it’s not just who you are that counts, it’s how you are perceived. Further, if you don’t work to shape your perception, you’ll spend the rest of your life at the mercy of other people who will.
• This generation has seen the excess and rarely falls for it – a fact Christian media ministries are discovering right now.  …  It’s ultimately about authenticity, which in my experience is the defining characteristic of this generation.
• Be bold. Be innovative. Stop copying other people and explore the right format to showcase your gifts and talents – not look like someone else.
  But when the same thing is done over and over again, it simply loses its meaning.
• Our job as communicators is to see shifts in the culture and change and adapt accordingly so our message is as relevant now as it was yesterday – and will still be tomorrow.
• At the famous Cannes Advertising Festival in France in 2007, the hottest topic was programming content for mobile phones. Right now, that’s the most aggressively pursued media platform because of the sheer number of mobile devices throughout the world.
• Today, it’s not about how we communicate with the audience, it’s about how they communicate with us.
• Millenials want to discover the new, they want to start the trends – this is their unique difference.  …  This means that a new generation not only wants to respond, but they also want to create.
• Simplicity, clarity and lots of white space remain important elements of good design.
• If you don’t begin to control your perception, you’ll spend the rest of your life at the mercy of others who will.
• <Speaking of personality driven ministries>  But with the passing of that personality, some organizations are confronted with the need to change to a more corporate vision, where everything does not hinge on a single person.
• Today we’re dealing with a generation that tends to give, not to be noticed, but because it is the right thing to do.
• Right now, the digital media world isn’t about income, it’s about influence.
• Relate your message to something that matters to people. Keep it short. Find out the questions people are asking.
• From a communication perspective our world has transformed from a one-way model to a two-way, dynamic conversation.
• As the next generation searches for meaning, are we going to continue trying to control the message, or are we going to be more open – allowing the people a voice in how they communicate, relate, and respond?  …  Are you allowing your audience to influence your message? …  Are you acting on the feedback you’re hearing from your audience?  …  Today – media is about personalization.
• Stop thinking “mass” and start thinking “niche.” Small is the new big.
• It’s important to find the story that surrounds your life and ministry. What do people think of when they think of you? If you can pinpoint your own brand story – why you do what you do, who you really are, what your gifts and talents are, and what makes you different – then you can start to find the potential audience that would connect with your message.
• I’m shocked at the number of people that just keep doing the same thing year after year as if the direction of the ministry, audience numbers, response, income – whatever, will magically change. But getting from point A to point B doesn’t happen by accident. It happens by implementing a well thought out plan.
• Life is more about asking the right questions.
• Be open to change. Too many churches and ministries go through difficult times because they’re unwilling to experiment and try something new.
• Don’t chase trends, but study them to see where the culture is going.

This is a must read for anyone who leads a ministry, is involved in teaching in a ministry, or is involved in tech/communications in a ministry.  Well, what are you waiting for?  Go read this book!

First, I must confess that this it the first book of Andy’s that I’ve ever read.  Can you believe that?  It certainly will not be my last!  I love his writing style.  It is very much like his speaking.  He writes in a very easy to follow, conversational style.  Everything just seems to flow from one thought to the next making it very hard to put the book down!

The basic premise of the book is so simple that it is not recognized and followed by most of us.  The path that we choose determines where we end up.  No matter how much we try to ignore this principle, it is still at work.  Here are some of my favorite quotes from the book:

• Recognizing the distinction between a solution and a path is the first step in understanding the principle of the path.
• Direction determines destination. …  You don’t have problems to fix; you have directions that need to change. It is time to begin living in the right direction.
• For just as this powerful principle explains how you’ve arrived where you are, it offers hope for the future as well. And, like every principle, once you understand how it works, you can leverage it to your advantage.
• The road I’m on always determines where I end up.  …  It really doesn’t matter where I intended to be; the path I take determines my ultimate destination.
• So a prudent person is a wise person. The implication here is that a prudent man or woman understands that all of life is connected. He is aware of the cause-and-effect relationship between what he chooses today and what he experiences tomorrow, what he chooses during one season of life and his experience in a future season—for better or worse. Consequently, prudent people look as far down the road as possible when making decisions.
• Simple is used interchangeably with the term naive. In contrast to the prudent, the simple or naive person lives as though life is disconnected; as if there is no connection between today’s choices and tomorrow’s experiences.
• For being oblivious to the obvious. The simple suffer for refusing to act on what they see. They suffer because they live as if there is no connection between the choices of today and the experiences of tomorrow. They overlook the fact that every path has a destination.
• Forgiveness and consequences are two different things.
• Principles are what enable us to plan with some element of confidence.
• At the end of the day, direction, not intention, determines destination.
• Prudent people know that it’s what you do that makes the difference, not what you see. Seeing danger and doing nothing doesn’t accomplish anything. …  Acting prudently often appears to others as unnecessary caution.
• Lord, help us to see trouble coming long before it gets here. And give us the wisdom to know what to do and the courage to do it.
• As long as we are lying to ourselves, it is impossible to get to where we want to be. Here’s why. You will never get to where you want to be if you don’t know where you are to begin with. When we deceive ourselves, we blind ourselves to our current location.
• Because now you know something you didn’t know before. Namely, your heart should not be your guide. It can’t be trusted.
• Choosing the right path begins with submission, not information. Not even direction. Submission. Specifically, submission to the One who knows where each path leads, as well as where it doesn’t lead. Submission to the One who knows what’s best for you better than you know what’s best for you.
• Don’t trust your heart; trust God with your heart.
• The moral of the story is this: In order to make the best decisions now, we need much more than information, common sense, or conventional wisdom. We need God. We need to live with a posture of dependency. We need to acknowledge him in all our ways.
• Every path has a destination. Direction, not intention, determines destination. Divine direction begins with submission. Information is not enough. Insight is not enough.
• More often than not, the circumstances we face are saturated with powerful emotions. Those emotions easily turn into misguided passions. In the end, passion clouds the ability to accurately evaluate the circumstance in order to choose the right path.
• In refusing to kill Saul, he [David] modeled a powerful truth: one never accomplishes the will of God by breaking the law of God, violating the principles of God, or ignoring the wisdom of God. …  So I want to encourage you to apply these three questions to every option that comes your way: 1. Does this option violate God’s law? 2. Does this option violate a principle? 3. In light of the story I want to tell, what is the wise thing to do?
• Successful people are often credited with being smart. And many are. But the successful people I know don’t attribute their success to their IQs. They attribute it to the collective wisdom and insight they garnered from others. Successful people aren’t successful because they knew everything they needed to know. They are successful because they were willing to apply the lessons they learned from others.  One of the primary avenues through which God directs us is the counsel of others. …  Wise people listen and prosper. Fools don’t, and don’t.
• I learned a long time ago that there is something more important than being right, and that is making the right decision. People who always have to be right will always be limited in their decision-making ability.
• It is next to impossible to hear the voice of wisdom if we are not really listening for it to begin with. The best counsel in the world is wasted counsel if our minds are already made up.
• Your knowledge, insight, and experience may put you miles ahead of the average person. But even then, you won’t reach your full potential apart from tapping into the knowledge, insight, and experience of those who are a step ahead of you.
• What captures our attention influences our direction. Attention, direction, destination. That’s the principle of the path in three words. …  So pay careful attention to what you are paying attention to. Pay attention to the things that are competing for your attention. Pause before devoting your attention to anything. And devote special attention to those things that deserve your attention.
• Scripture stands as a reminder that regardless of what we’ve experienced, we are not the first. Regardless of what we feel, someone else has navigated through that fog before us. And more important, someone has faced what we’ve faced, felt what we’ve felt, and his or her faith has survived.
• There comes a time in each of our lives when we are forced to turn our backs on something we hoped for, prayed for, dreamed about, and perhaps planned for. These are usually good things. But a day comes when we are faced with the reality that they’re not going to happen for us. We aren’t going to get there. That dream isn’t coming true.
• Knowing doesn’t make the difference. Doing does. The decisions you make will determine the direction and the destination of your life. Choose wisely.

Incredible book.  A definite must read.  I even had the opportunity to recommend it to our Southbrook staff during a recent staff meeting because it fit so well with something that Pastor Rob was sharing with us from the book of Numbers in his devotional.

I really had to push myself to finish this book.  I’m a strong believer in the strengths-based teaching of people like Marcus Buckingham.  Dr. Irwin seems defensive very early in the book in response to strengths-based teaching, which then put me on the defensive as the reader.  I had a hard time with the profiling of the CEOs;  I don’t question the failures of these leaders so I think it was more they way that they were profiled that I didn’t like.  It seems that Dr. Irwin is referring to character flaws and not misuse of strengths or an ignorance of weaknesses.  He’s really bringing attention to a serious issue, but the way in which he does is a turn off.

The second half of the book was much better.  There was great advice and questions to ask yourself to avoid the stated character issues.  Unfortunately, over all I feel that the book was poorly written and just didn’t keep my attention despite some great content.

***  This book was reviewed as a part of the Thomas Nelson Book Review Bloggers Program. ***

Shawn’s videos are a great overview of the process, so start there. Getting Things Done gets into the nitty-gritty details.  The book has been out for several years so it does not cover current technologies that can help in implementing a GTD process, but it is the basic process is what matters most.

Here’s a few of the keys to a GTD system and how I’m organizing my life.

• Create a trusted capture system.  I capture things in the following places: physical inboxes at work and home, email inbox for work and personal, Evernote inbox, and Remember the Milk inbox.  Some people need a small notepad to carry around to make notes.  I generally use whatever paper I have and make sure that it gets to my physical inbox.  Otherwise, I use my iPhone and send myself an email, send a note to my Evernote inbox, or send a to-do by email to Remember the Milk.
• Process things in your inboxes regularly.  Delete things that are not needed.  File things that are for reference.  I keep very few paper files any more.  Almost everything gets scanned to PDF.  Then, I file and tag everything in Evernote on my Mac.  If it can be done in less than two minutes, do it and be done with it.  Anything else needs to be delegated or deferred.  If I’m giving something to my husband or one of my team members to do, I keep the item marked as “waiting” in my email, Evernote “waiting” notebook, or tagged with “waiting” as a task in RTM.  For anything else, I create a task in RTM, tag as a project or something that I need to process in Evernote or my email.  I create to-do items for everything that I think of regarding a project.  David Allen suggests just the next action step, but I find if I don’t record everything that I think of that needs to be done, I keep too much of that project in my head and it weighs on me too much.  Even if it seems silly or trivial, I’ll spend the time to make a note of it rather than carrying it in my head.
• Do your work.  Tagging things on my to-do list in RTM always me to better choose what to work on based upon amount of time available, current energy level or mindset, resources available (like phone or internet), time item is due, etc.  It makes determining the best thing to do at a given time so easy.
• Review your inboxes, to-do items, project files, calendar, etc in depth once a week to determine any next steps on projects, trigger your memory of anything that you may have forgotten, need to follow up on or reschedule.  I’ve been doing this on Fridays.  It is the best day for me because it is usually my quietest day of the week with the fewest interruptions.

Here are some additional things that I’ve been doing and technologies notes…

• One of the goals is inbox zero; don’t store things in your email inbox.  One of the ways that I can stay on top of this is to move things to my project folder or to-do folder when I glance at my email on my iPhone.  In addition, if I can take care of it with a quick, simple response, I do that from my iPhone.  Because we use Google Apps for our email and my phone is set up using Exchange protocol, everything I do on my phone is mirrored on my computer / webmail.  This makes getting through my email so much faster.
• When I see links to things that I want to look at later, I send an email with the link to my Evernote inbox.  When I process my Evernote inbox, I can look at those links I saw in Twitter from my iPhone or put them in my read/review folder to look at later.  For longer term links and blog posts (I use Google Reader for my RSS feeds), I tag items using Delicious.  This makes it easy to point someone else to something that I found or get to it from any computer.
• Josh was eager to learn this system, so I’ve been helping him set up his processes in Outlook, Evernote and RTM.  We added each other as contacts in RTM so we can send to-do items to each other.  We also promised to process our physical inboxes at home; I can trust that if I put something in Josh’s inbox, he will look at it within a day or two.  This has kept our kitchen island free of clutter because I can put mail and catalogs and such in his inbox.
• We also make it a practice to “invite” each other to important things on our calendar even if it doesn’t directly involve the other person so we’re aware of where the other one is.  We also have our calendars shared with each other so that we can see the other’s full calendar to see where they are and what they are doing.  That way, if Josh is scheduled to be in a meeting, then I don’t continually call his cell phone looking for him unless of course, it is an emergency.
• I have Evernote and RTM connected to my Twitter account.  I can send a DM to either and whatever I send is in my inbox for the next time I process my inboxes.

If you’re looking for a way to handle the demands of your job, juggling to-do items at home, and decluttering your mind, this book is a great place to start.  But, don’t it half way.  You really have to set up your system and commit to it, including regular review.

The purpose of the book is to challenge what we believe about success and how someone become successful.  So, what is an outlier?

out·li·er noun 1: something that is situated away from or classed differently from a main or related body  2: a statistical observation that is markedly different in value from the others of the sample.

Malcolm put his purpose so clearly in this passage:

In Outliers, I want to convince you that these kinds of personal explanations of success don’t work. People don’t rise from nothing. We do owe something to parentage and patronage. The people who stand before kings may look like they did it all by themselves. But in fact they are invariably the beneficiaries of hidden advantages and extraordinary opportunities and cultural legacies that allow them to learn and work hard and make sense of the world in ways others cannot. It makes a difference where and when we grew up. The culture we belong to and the legacies passed down by our forebears shape the patterns of our achievement in ways we cannot begin to imagine. It’s not enough to ask what successful people are like, in other words. It is only by asking where they are from that we can unravel the logic behind who succeeds and who doesn’t.

I was raised to be relatively independent woman.  I don’t believe that things happen by chance.  I know that my family background and my educational advantages have been a large part of making me who I am and getting me to where I am today.  Until reading Outliers, it did not occur to me what a huge part those things and the systems that we put together in our society can do to make or break the success of a person.

Here are a few passages that caught my attention while reading:

• They had to appreciate the idea that the values of the world we inhabit and the people we surround ourselves with have a profound effect on who we are.
• Success is the result of what sociologists like to call “accumulative advantage.”
• Because we so profoundly personalize success, we miss opportunities to lift others onto the top rung. We make rules that frustrate achievement.
• We prematurely write off people as failures. We are too much in awe of those who succeed and far too dismissive of those who fail. And, most of all, we become much too passive. We overlook just how large a role we all play—and by “we” I mean society—in determining who makes it and who doesn’t.
• Their research suggests that once a musician has enough ability to get into a top music school, the thing that distinguishes one performer from another is how hard he or she works. The people at the very top don’t work just harder or even much harder than everyone else. They work much, much harder.
• In fact, researchers have settled on what they believe is the magic number for true expertise: ten thousand hours.  And what’s ten years? Well, it’s roughly how long it takes to put in ten thousand hours of hard practice. Ten thousand hours is the magic number of greatness.
• Practice isn’t the thing you do once you’re good. It’s the thing you do that makes you good.
• The particular skill that allows you to talk your way out of a murder rap, or convince your professor to move you from the morning to the afternoon section, is what the psychologist Robert Sternberg calls “practical intelligence.”
• IQ is a measure, to some degree, of innate ability. But social savvy is knowledge. It’s a set of skills that have to be learned. It has to come from somewhere, and the place where we seem to get these kinds of attitudes and skills is from our families.
• Hard work is a prison sentence only if it does not have meaning.
• Success is a function of persistence and doggedness and the willingness to work hard for twenty-two minutes to make sense of something that most people would give up on after thirty seconds.

Last night as I was talking with Josh about the book, I began to notice all the things that I do with Jonathan, my almost 3 years old son.  Now, I don’t remember many details about how my mom raised me since I was 13 when she passed away.  What I do remember is a drive to be as good as I could be in school and anything else I did, the best if possible.  I remember a push to work hard and never give up.  So, what do I do with Jonathan when he falls?  I help him up, but I tell him he’s fine and to keep going.  What do I do when he get frustrated with putting his clothes on?  I tell him that he can do it and let him persist in figuring it out on his own.  When he cannot find something?  I tell him to look for it.  When he wants to help with dinner?  I let him make the mess as he learns what to do.  When he wants to quit and do something else?  Finish what you started.  Malcolm calls this a parent who “cultivates”.  Rather than completely staying out of what Jonathan does, I’m involved, but I’m teaching him the value of hard work, persistence, and the joy of reaching a goal.  I show him how to be a problem solver and figure out the answers rather than handing him the easy answer.

I loved this book.  Again, Malcolm is a great story-teller and has a fascinating way to giving statistics wrapped in intriguing examples from real-life.  Great book and highly recommended.